I was driving to the mall along with my friends this Friday. It was a gloomy afternoon as the sun refused to come out. Though the lack of heat was welcome, I wondered if the sun instinctively knew that brightening the day was in some way inappropriate. It was a day of mourning and we had just attended the memorial service held in the United Spirit Arena. The scene out there was heart-rending as I saw men and women break into tears and I began to contemplate for the umpteenth time, the reasons behind these apparently senseless acts against humanity. As the crowd ambled out at a leisurely pace, I noticed for the first time that people were staring at me with a strange look in their eyes. On the positive side some of them were great looking southern belles, but on the other hand a good number of them were rednecks, who averaged six feet five (I am five ft six!). Then a thought crossed my mind. If this is happening in Lubbock, inside the university campus, it must be far worse in other cities and in places were people are much less educated.
The drive to the mall was a welcome change as I was glued to the television for most part of the week. As I watched over and over, the second airplane crash into the WTC building, I was stunned at first and later I found my feelings alternate between horror and sadness. I watched the whole world mourn the death of innocent American citizens. Only, I as an Indian lost count of the number of times I have mourned for victims of terrorism. I found myself growing incredibly sad as I began to wonder, in what way were the lives of those 60,000 odd Indians who were gunned down by terrorists over the past decade any less worthy of notice by the rest of the world? Err.. India who? Sigh!
We had reached the mall by now and I was still thinking about this and wondering about that "strange look" I was lately getting used to. As we were walking towards CompUSA, I found myself facing a group of 10-12 guys. It took a second for me to sink in that this was not the usual friendly lot that I had gotten used to over the past couple of years. As I stepped aside and walked pretending not to notice them, I saw an unfriendly face from the corner of my eye and heard him say "Are you going to blow up the mall?" I turned, mentally preparing myself for a lengthy stint in some hospital! Taking a big risk, I took a deep breath, mumbled a silent prayer to God, put on my most amicable smile and said "Yeah, you wanna come along?"! That broke the ice and both of us went our ways. Phew! That was close. I breathed a sigh of relief and wondered what was in store next. By evening, we got home and decided to stay put the whole weekend. I spent Saturday evening on yahoo trying to gauge the general public sentiment first hand. Revenge, War, blood! Most of the New Yorkers though, were just too tired and wanted to get back to normalcy. By this time advertisements and TV serials were back. Come Sunday, I switched on the TV the moment I woke up. Finally, life was slowly limping back to normal... or so I thought.
Sunday afternoon was by far the most shocking day after the attacks. Terrorism struck in a different form, packaged as what the media called a "racial killing". The killing of an Indian national in Arizona did strike terror into the hearts of many innocent Indians the world over who watched reports of this cold-blooded murder in horror. His crime? He had a beard and wore a turban! Beware, the task of dividing up America has just begun! The ignorance of the journalist who reported the incident was appalling as he mentioned that the person who was killed was from the Middle East. Whoever it was did make the terrorist's job a tad easier. At this rate however there wouldn't be much left for the terrorists to do! Talk about Osama laying off a few terrorists! Way to go pardner! I looked at my own skin and for a moment seriously contemplated visiting a cosmetologist! Hey, Im proud of it, but when my life is on the line, I wouldn't mind painting it black or white! Most of Sunday night was spent in assuring near and dear that everything was fine and that the killing was an isolated one while secretly thanking the Grim Reaper for not providing me the honor of his company!
I stepped back for a moment, recollecting the events of the past week. First the attack that started the mayhem, the mournings, cries for revenge and war, the wonderful display of patriotism. A lot has happened in the past week and this was when I wondered if my life would change too. Is this only the beginning of a bad dream or the end of a nightmare? Will we ever be able to stop terrorism? Will I ever get into a normal conversation without the other person considering the possibility of my being a terrorist? True, America is the greatest democracy on planet earth right now. But at what cost to the rest of the world? (Update: in retrospect I feel I was sucking up here...Saw a couple of movies on discrimination today. My blood ran cold. Not too long ago this was probably the worst "Democrazy" on earth. Hey on the bright side, there is hope for everyone!) On the other hand, is there any religion in this world other than Islam that deals with the concept of killing in the name of God, however justified the reason may be? Is there any other religion that officially empowers one man to decree a death sentence on another, which others of the same faith are expected (not forced) to execute, irrespective of the laws of any other land? (My knowledge of Islam is limited. If any of my Muslim brethren would like to give me some facts on Islam , jihad etc. please send an e-mail to sriram_sun@yahoo.com)
As I was grappling with a million other questions, I walked towards the bus stop on Monday morning with trepidation, unsure of what to expect. A year in Lubbock can make you so spoilt that you begin to demand a courteous and a cheerful face everywhere! As I was getting into the bus, I was greeted with a most wonderful smile from a young gentleman, which ran from ear to ear. Never was I happier to hear a "Howdy"! I realized, slowly but surely the city is coming back to life! There were more smiles waiting for me in college as Mysti, Keri and Susan parted with their best, surely they must have an endless supply of those! After I spent an hour getting some sleep (in class!), I went back to my house whistling a happy tune, knowing that, under the current circumstances, I am fortunate to be in the midst of such wonderful people. By now I've learnt to ignore the stares and relish the smiles. Like any other place, Lubbock has its own share of lunatics who would vent their anger at anything and everything and show it through violence. Thus they are no different from the terrorists. My only hope is that these people learn from their mistakes fast.
On a final note, we need to think about the root cause of terrorism. I believe that terrorism is born out of a powerful alliance between ignorance and poverty. We need to look not only for a cure but also for a vaccine that can immunize us from this dreaded scourge. Eureka! Utopia, anyone?