Boris Baddenov

I am a cat. I am cool. I eat dogs for breakfast.  Dogs are stupid, noisy creatures who can't climb trees.  Squirrels taste better.  Birds are best, if you don't mind the feathers.

Larry is my best friend. Sometimes I bring him a mouse or a bird. I put them on his pillow. He likes that. He pets me when I let him.  He is warm and I curl up and sleep on him.  Sometimes he gives me tuna.  I eat it politely.

Here I am in another cool pose: